Over the years, you might have heard me speak about the pull I feel, the tension between running a small business and being the mum I truly want to be. For so long, I believed that what we were building here would show my girls how to be strong, capable women. And while I still believe that’s part of the legacy, what’s become more and more real is that I’m not present enough for them, for myself, or for my relationship.
.
This quote by C.S. Lewis hits me right in my core and gets to the heart of what I feel:
“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work. In the end, the legacy that matters won't be what you built in the world. It will be who you raised and whether they felt safe, seen, and loved in your presence.”
I’ve poured everything into Pineapple. And now, with Bonnie in high school and already becoming her own woman, I can really feel how fleeting this time is. And then there’s Dot, she’s such a different kid to Bonnie, and I know she needs me in a way I haven’t had the headspace to give her while juggling everything else. I can’t keep doing this version of small business and also be the present mum I need and want to be.
That’s what made this decision so tough. Maybe it feels even harder because of what we’ve created, this incredible space for women. I love it deeply. I love caring for this community and watching you all thrive and get really bloody strong! But it’s also easy for me to get swept up in it and forget, in the moment, what actually matters most.
I want to be really clear - this isn’t about walking away because it’s too hard. Yes, running a small business comes with its challenges, but more than anything, this decision comes from love - love for my family, love for myself, and love for Pineapple. I want to hand it over while it’s thriving, not when I’ve run out of steam.
And here’s the part that makes me SO excited…!! Rachael is the one who will carry Pineapple forward! You already know and love her. You’ve seen the way she shows up, the care and energy she gives, and how much she believes in this place. I couldn’t imagine a better person to continue the good work we’ve started, and that makes this decision feel extra right.
I feel sad writing this because I know it means change. But it doesn’t feel like giving up, it feels like handing something over that I’m truly proud of. Pineapple will keep thriving, because of all of you, and because of Rach. Also, I’m not leaving, I’ll still be here, working with Rach as my boss and continuing in the capacity that allows me to live out everything I’ve written above.
With so much love and gratitude and emotion, and so many more things that I cannot even put into words…
xx Shell
